Generation Magazine

The alleged gunman incident that occurred in Lockwood Library on Tuesday, Feb. 16, 2010 will go down in history as a day that shaped UB’s future. Students spotted a Caucasian male with what appeared to be a shotgun or rifle, which, depending on who you ask, was hidden discretely under his pea coat or slung over his shoulder. Details.

Someone alerted the University Police Department, who may or may not have determined, using surveillance footage, that the male might have a weapon (we can’t be sure). And so, in conjunction with police from Buffalo and Amherst, they stormed onto campus and secured the area—evacuating the library and saving everyone from certain doom.

No one can say for sure where the (gun)man went, or if he, or his gun, ever existed at all, but one thing is for sure—the university shat the bed. Their inability to defend students from a phantom gunman was painfully revealed to all on that February evening.

According to extremely credible news outlets that never, ever report rumors, a student called the UPD at 4:05 p.m. and testified that a gunman may have come into the building. Police checked the surveillance footage and, unable to determine if it actually was a gun, decided to evacuate the building at 4:40 p.m. That’s a 35-minute difference.

Think of what could have happened during that time. He could have used his (circle one: gun, tripod, drafting tube, sizeable sex toy) to (shoot people, take a picture, draw, stimulate nearby women). It could have been a (tragedy, snapshot, architectural masterpiece, orgy)!

Without concrete answers, the incredible force of Rumor Mill 2.0 ® lifted its Cerberus-like heads and barked like an Italian mother on sites like Twitter and Facebook. Rumors quickly spread that the gunman had a knife, was taking hostages and that Generation decided to print personals again. Alas, no dice.

But we’re very lucky. Nothing happened and we can now rest easy. Some of us.

After police deemed the building safe and administrators decided that Wednesday classes would resume as scheduled, students staged massive protests in front of Capen. Oh wait, wrong decade. Students created a group on Facebook to voice their concerns, because everyone knows that Facebook groups are tremendous catalysts for change. The group “No UB classes till gunman is arrested” sprung up shortly after 7 p.m. on the day of the incident, and students demanded that the (man, phantom, O.J. Simpson) be arrested.

Students posted musings about the (gun)man, his possible motives and some—who must have done well in Clairvoyance 101—even gave detailed itineraries of what he was going to do next. One student was so terrified that she forgot how to use punctuation and the shift key:

“there is someone seriously disturbed who is clearly upset with ub that could very easliy strike again n why not if he already got away with it no one knows who whats wrong with him or what he wants we dont even know who he is but all that we know is he is roaming free”

Clearly this deranged phantom needs to be brought to justice and local police aren’t up to the task. Who you gonna call…? Not Ghostbusters. PRONE, maybe?

The ugliest stuff came after the incident. That’s when the whiners, gun nuts and conspiracy theorists emerged, all holding differing opinions but all clamoring for change.

The whiners: “I’m moving to another school [editor’s note: good!]. How dare the university allow non-students to step foot on public property! They should have security guards and swipe cards at every door. Anyone who’s not wearing a UB armband should be arrested and sent to jail. We need to extend the Patriot Act to allow UPD to wiretap phones. Where’s Dick Cheney when you need him?”

The gun nuts: “None of this would have happened if students were allowed to carry concealed weapons on campus. I would have pulled out my [insert menacing sounding firearm name here] and busted a cap in his ass. If everyone had guns, there would be no crime.”

The conspiracy theorists: “This is all a part of UB 2020. You’ll see!”

Listen, if you want to skip classes and stay home because someone might have seen something, go for it. I won’t stop you. In fact, I’d encourage it—your absences will lower the class GPA and curve up my grades. God knows I could use that.

But honestly, you’re not safe anywhere you go. You could be slurping on a Big Gulp the next time you go to Target and forget to look both ways in the parking lot and BAM!, a little granny could make you a permanent part of her Buick’s grill. Or you could get a little too drunk and hook up with someone without protection—after all, AIDS is the No. 1 killer of reproductive-age women. These are the kinds of things we should be worried about—the things we can prevent.

The situation could have gone better. The delay between the initial sighting and the first official messages from UB was pretty lengthy. Over 30 minutes? Really? Evacuate me the minute you hear about a gun. I’ll make like Sarah Palin and run, even if the odds are stacked stupidly against me. The administration’s response was confused, murky and, ultimately, laughable.

Official information was sparse and that’s why rumors spread so quickly. Don’t send me a text message about evacuating a building and not give me reasons. Did someone set off a carbon monoxide alarm with an epic fart? I’m sure that if people knew a gunman was around, they would have moved a lot faster and wouldn’t have stood in front of those huge Alfiero Center windows.

But it also could have gone a lot worse. UPD demonstrated that it clearly has its stuff together. The task force of police officers from varying districts moved smoothly and efficiently, and swept the building four times before giving the all clear. You didn’t want to be walking around with a tripod when these blokes came around. Somebody give them a medal of honor or a call of duty or whatever those awards are called.

And at the end of the day… nothing happened. Nothing. Laugh about it. Make jokes. It’s human.

Watch what you walk around with,

Ren LaForme
Editor in Chief

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