Generation Magazine

By Jordan Brown

 It starts with nonstop texting and never wanting to leave the other person’s side, and ends with a gallon of ice cream and slashed tires. At first, she is the hottest girl you’ve ever seen and now you’re disgusted every time you see her face. He was a sweetheart, but now he’s the biggest douche bag you’ve ever met.

 Bad relationships: Face it, we’ve all been in one at some point, and if not, give it a couple of months. We always find ourselves questioning how they ended up the way they did, no matter how long they last. It’s easy to look at the beginning and end, but at times we forget how we got from point A to point B. Sometimes we neglect to acknowledge red flags altogether. No one wants to admit that they saw the signs, which is understandable, but there are always signs—always.

 You may have first mistaken her constant checking up on you and calls as cute, but when you can’t sleep without receiving 13 texts and seven missed calls, you start to realize she’s just a “stage five clinger”—to quote Pauly D. You thought his drinking binges every night just made him edgy, you now know he’s in the beginning stages of alcoholism. If he punches anything in sight to “vent his frustration,” don’t be shocked when you’re calling the police about domestic violence. If she says; “he’s just a friend,” don’t be flabbergasted when you find her tongue kissing another dude in the mouth.

 This isn’t to say that just because someone has quirks you should put all communication to a halt—everyone has their oddities. You should put just as much focus on your own actions as you put on your person of interest. Maybe you just aren’t the relationship type if you can’t seem to keep your hands off of every girl you encounter. If all you can ever think, speak and dream about is your ex, then it’s safe to say that you’re probably not ready to commit to something new.

 At times, the downfall may not have been so obvious. Maybe time is what made your relationship dwindle. Some relationships are milk and others are Twinkies. Some relationships get sour after a period of time and others seem to never go bad. You can’t realistically expect every person you meet to be the proverbial “one,” and every relationship you find yourself in to lead to marriage, because you’re just setting yourself up for heartache.

 While it may be easier to extract negatives from something, what’s really best is looking at the positives. To keep with the food metaphors, a relationship is a lot like a sandwich. There are two pieces of bread, but most people like the contents between the bread better—whether it’s meat or soy for the vegetarians. We should look at a relationship for what we enjoyed the most, then take what we find and learn from it for our future ventures.

 You have the power to improve the quality of your next relationship, and the power to get lost in the endless cycle of bad relationships.

 Throw away the milk and snack on a Twinkie.

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